@ShashaSelflove 2/11/16 Waiting


As I sit at gate 22, terminal 5 in JFK Airport – I am waiting for the flight to board, I wonder…How many things are we waiting for? And how many things are we simply procrastinating about? There is always something that I am putting off, but why?

I usually will give myself an excuse – be patient, don’t hurry things, it will happen when it is the right time. That is what I tell myself, many of us aren’t sure if it is the right move or the right time. We wiggle around uncomfortably trying to navigate through the thought process that is “taking action”.  It is terrifying sometimes, certain decisions will affect you in the long term and those around you. You mull over what to do, how to do it, what you need to do to and how do you know of this is the right path.

I am on standby. Didn’t make the first flight. I expected this. I am shaking,  why?

How many of us are putting our lives on standby? What are you waiting for? Most of us are waiting for a signal, a divine bat signal in the sky, “this is where you’re suppose to go (your name here), if only it was that simple! I wish!

Remember in class, when you were a kid, the teacher always said that you were going to use math for the rest of your life. When I got out of college I still had yet to use any of the math my teacher told me I was going to be using.  Excel did all of that for you, f of x was magic. But now, I see it, the mathematics makes sense. No excel formula can help make a life decision,  you weigh out the pros and cons of the situation, you add and subtract ideas and notions. You look at algorithms in the story of your life, you see patterns and medians. You are your own equation, a unique calculation that is made up of your experience, your lumps, bumps and lessons.

I am shaking again, shouldn’t have had all that coffee. I can have 3 shots of expresso and immediately sleep like a baby, but I have had 2 hours of sleep,  when I don’t sleep enough I get really cold. It is a scorching 25 degrees and the wind flowing straight through the widow panes. I think about getting to my destination,  I haven’t seen my cousin in 23 years and thanks to technology we have grown closer than ever. Biology makes is first cousins,  but friendship makes is siblings. The brother that lives on the other side of the planet, I am finally going to see him. Why did I wait so long?! I am hoping I make the next flight, when…

“Ms. Shhhaasha, Sha-sha, Shana…um are you waiting to board? “, “Yes ma’am,  I am – to San Francisco that is.” She gingerly hands me a bag of chips and a bag of chocolates, she is my new best friend. “How do you say it?”, “Sasha, ma’am”, “We are ready to board you, sorry for your wait. Just to let you know your luggage went on the prior flight and will be waiting for you and is being secured in San Francisco. “, “No worries, my baggage beat me to vacation!” She chuckles and walks me into the plane. My baggage was waiting for me, yours is too.

It stands next to you, gets ahead of you and most days lays on top of you – weighing you down. What are you waiting for? Deal with it before it lives in your place, meaning instead of you living – it usurps your life and you can’t get away from the shadow it casts on you.

Go pick it up your baggage, claim it, sit on the floor and unpack it. Get it out of your system. Cry over what is broken – but don’t dwell on it, be grateful for what has made through this life and is still intact, then – start to live. Whatever is in your bag has a solution immediate or long term, the key is to start the process. No more waiting for, “one day I will deal with this”, today is the day, I am here wholeheartedly cheering for you, with a knot in my throat. We all have something to unpack, no more waiting. Big hug!

Hey Frank, Sierra Echo Echo Yankee Oscar Uniform Sierra Oscar Oscar November!

Share and Comment! Follow on IG, Twitter & Pinterest @ShashaSelflove and on WorldPress@ShashaSelflove

Share and Comment! Follow on IG, Twitter & Pinterest @ShashaSelflove and on WorldPress@ShashaSelflove

7 thoughts on “@ShashaSelflove 2/11/16 Waiting

    1. Hello there Kimber, thanks for the comment! The human experience is what ties us together, happy thay my experience spoke to you. Big hug!

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